Last midwife appointment

It has been a long and fun day today. We went to the midwife to do the last summary before baby comes. 

Everything was great with both the baby and my values. We made a last check that everything is prepared and written in my journal as well.
Tomorrow morning we're going in to the delivery. They are going to do the membrane sweep. I have never done that and it's gonna be nervous. 
Then we'll wait and see if that juggles things along or not. Otherwise we're gonna go back on Thursday for the actual induction. 
All of this feels surreal... I mean - tomorrow night we might be holding our baby girl - or not. Brr... The excitement makes me shiver.

For the first time in months I actually wear makeup today. It has felt good to pamper myself a bit, since I might be giving birth within 24 hours. That is such a hard job. I don't run marathons... My deliveries are sprinters that are extremely intense. So that's what I'm preparing myself for mentally!

Most of all we are praying for the baby to be born without any complications or damages! That is our most important wish.

Miss J has been wearing a supercute dress today, that a friend bought for her in Portugal last summer. It fits her perfectly and she looks adorable!

I'm gonna miss this girl the days we're gonna have to spend at the hospital with the new arrival. She lights up our lives so much and I am so proud of the way she's approaching life. 
She is like a bumblebee. Aerodynamically it can't fly! But nobody has told the bumblebee that - so it flies anyway! 
Miss J's like that! The doctors said that she wouldn't develop normally, but she doesn't know that. So she IS! Every day is a new victory. 
Since we stay home with her, train her, read to her, sing to her, love her etc and practise parenting that puts her needs first (attachment parenting) she feels safe. Then she can put her energy, in her own pace and her own conditions, on growing up and mastering everything she needs to know! Good girl! Thank you God <3

Mr Björklund and I took the time to eat a nice takeout today from our favourite restaurant. It was what I've been longing for, for a very long time! It tasted extremely nice. Thank you Yokikos sushi!

My oldest son got a haircut today and it looks really nice. He is so tall and handsome. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. In just two months he'll be an adult! I am so proud of him!

This is homemade sour milk (filbunke). My grandmother taught me to do that almost 20 years ago, in Finland. I started making it again yesterday and this morning I could enjoy perfectly tasting smooth sour milk.

My mother doesn't want to have her picture published, so the emoji has to act out her delight for her.
Well, the story behind this picture is that she has talked a lot about the fact that she doesn't want a Christmastree this year. The reason is that she'll be going away to stay with my sister for half a year in Canada, just after New Years.
So we helped her solve that problem! Now she has a small (paper) Christmas tree with ornaments. Her face was priceless when she recieved it! *smile*

And now... Something sparkly and pink! 
This is what I aim to do tomorrow! Keep calm and sparkle!
I am going to do my very best and rest assured that I'm in good hands. I am so grateful Mr Björklund's gonna be right there with me, by my side, through all this!

Babywearing & attachment parenting

I had a "Hans and Greta"-moment today, when I tried my best to push my nine months pregnant body into the oven. That didn't end in anything else then a clean oven and back pain. No contractions what so ever.. :/

Earlier today we were invited to my mother for Sunday lunch. A relative of ours had just come back from Finland and was also visiting. We had a really nice time together. Bless you dear!
Our relative brought with her something of the best I know. Karelian pirogues! 
I serve them with a salt and pepper, butter and egg spread. Absolutely delicious!

My awesome mother had finished knitting a second pair of socks for miss J. Mr Björklund bought the yarn in Finland 1,5 years ago, when he was there on a mission trip. 
The socks turned out great and miss J has hardly wanted to take them off all day.

I found something that made me happy today. We're into babywearing in our family & miss J spends a lot of time in the Ergo being carried around by her dad. We also practise attachment parenting. To us that meens to take extra notice to what the child needs, it's personality  and adjust our parenting accordingly. 
We have children of all ages (some are adults by now) so we have had a lot of practice and we have this attitude even with the older ones. We talk things through with them & decide together.
Miss J is still co-sleeping many nights with us. I think it's important to follow her lead on which nights she wants to sleep in her own bed and which nights she wants to be in ours. She's still so young that I prioritise her feeling safe and happy, then for me to get an undisturbed nights sleep. That time will come eventually... It has with all the older kids. 

Well, we have entered the Christmas season now and what I saw today is related to that. 

Note the babywearing mrs Santa Claus! I just love that! Go Santa!

Tomorrow I'm going to the midwife for one of the last checkups during this pregnancy (at least that's the plan...)
We are going to talk through what I've written in the letter to the delivery ward about my wishes, hopes and needs.
I have given birth so many times now that I specifically know what I want and what I don't accept at all. At least I feal secure with that part. The rest of the birthing process is different every time. You can never predict how it will be or how the baby will be like. The most important thing for me is that she's born alive and well!

I saw a tutorial today on how to make this "tiger cake". It's on YouTube. I love the awesome colours of the cake. Hopefully I'll get around to making one soon... 

I found a cute Christmasgift for miss J tonight. A lady in one of the sales groups that I've joined on Facebook posted these items for sale. I have ordered the dark pink ballerina skirt. It was only ~3$ (30 kr). Miss J's gonna be so cute in it! 

I took in the double wagon the other night to prepare it for the girls. I have washed it and put on reflexes. The baby is going to lay in a lift on the left side and miss J's gonna sit on the right side. Miss J's new favourite play is to climb in and out, in and out, in and out... I love seing her so happy!

And something pink as usual! I love cute cupcakes and of course these are some of my favourites (with pink Christmastrees  AND glitter in!!!) Today someone actually gave us a plastic large green Christmas tree. We already have my pink one, but I'm thinking of having the green one downstairs and the pink one on the upper floor. We're just gonna have to try it out and see how it works out.

Well, it's late (again) and I'm gonna go downstairs and make myself some crackers and a glass of lactose free milk before going to bed. I'm really exchausted after spending a couple of hours this evening playing on the floor with miss J and reading her the favourite book over and over and over again (Max balja). I think the pregnancy hormones are starting to prepare me for staying up nursing a baby again all night long, because even if I'm really tired - I'm not sleepy. I have to lay down in a dark room for that to happen. 

It's gonna be a really nervous and exciting week for me. I'll tell you more about it later <3

My happy place

The best thing I know is the ocean. Or sitting on the shore and watching the ocean. The sky being the only limit. The horizon mysteriously showing itself far far away... That gives me absolute peace inside. I come from a long line of sea captains, so I guess it's in my blood. 
I used to live by the shore of this beautiful  ice sea. Our house was just on the shore. It is in the most northern parts of the world, in a place called "The gateway to Arctic" Tromsø Norway. 
I loved living and working there. The climate is subarctic and the weather could change between storm, rain, snow and pale sun in just a heartbeat. So the living conditions are tough and not for everyone. Then there is no sun at all during the winter season and only sun (no darkness) during the midsummer season. It is the best place in the world to se the Northern Lights (aurora borealis). 
I left a huge part of my soul there when I moved back to Sweden. I miss it almost every day. My precious oldest grandson is actually born there. On an extremely stormy night where we risked our lives to get from the tiny island we lived on and across the only bridge to the mainland where the hospital is located. That was an exciting trip.

Well, I have nothing like that were we live now. There are trees everywhere here and no trees up in Tromsø (well, very small ones - but they hardly count as trees).
The water I can find around here is when I fill up my water glass and shake it - just to pretend I'm watching a storm pass by ... 
It sounds tragic, but that's not my intention. Well, I am filled up with water right now anyways, with all the extra water the pregnancy causes me to have and all the amniotic fluid. So there is actually plenty of water to go around right now. *smile*

Well, I have a "Happy place" here as well and that is in front of my beloved sewing mashine! Tonight I got to sit and sew undisturbed for about three hours. My soul danced!
I am a very creative person. I think in different forms and colours. I love painting, sewing, drawing, reading, music etc. So this is a little bit like resting my soul on the shore of the majestic Arctic waters. I have let my fingers work and my thoughts wander off wherever they have wanted to drift.

I lit some fragranced candles and sat down to work on what I had in mind. I smiled to myself when I realised that I'm really going through a "nesting" phase right now - preparing the house for the new babys arrival.

First I used this beautiful fabric and sew some curtains for our bedroom. Green is my husbands favourite colour. The fabric is quite robust, so it will keep the sunshine out during the summer. 

This is how it turned out after my husband put them up for me. We have coloured lightning in the bedroom, that's why the colour is hard to see (pink light, of course...) They are almost 3 meters long, since the ceiling on that side of the house is really high.

Out of this beautiful red fabric I made a new tablecloth. It fits our huge kitchen table and I'm going to use it during the Christmas season. 

The last things I made tonight are these "pacifier holders". I made matching pares for my little girls. Miss J's gonna get the "Big sister"-ones when the baby arrives. The rest are for Christmas. I love the green ones and the ones that says "Sisters". I am pleased with the result of my creative work tonight. I feel refreshed!

Miss J had a fun time earlier tonight helping me out in the kitchen. I was making scrambled eggs, so she also wanted some utensils. Then she started having really fun with them & being silly happy with them. It fits perfect as a helmet on her *lol*.

Miss J and her dad were spooning together in the nursery this morning. They were so cute that I just had to take a picture of them playing together. Both of them were to tired to go down for breakfast yet.

I got a gift today that I look forward to start using. It's a tin can for tea bags. I have wanted one for a long time, but we simply can't afford putting money into things like that. Today someone gave me one as a gift. I am so happy. I have extremely much tea, so it's gonna be fun to put some of it "on display".

I have spent a lot of time today thinking about this fun girl, that I love so much. My oldest daughter <3 Rebecca.
She has had a tough year and just moved to a new apartment with her little family. I admire her for never giving up, for always standing up for herself and her boys. And for her great sence of humour. She is actually one of the most funny persons I've ever known!
We live far from each other. I live in the middle of Sweden and she lives in the south. That meens that we don't get to spend so much time together, but we usually compensate by blabbering on the phone every day.
Tomorrow she has an appointment to do an MRI on her wounded knee and I wish I could be there for her. I hope everything goes well, hunny! I love you & keep fingers and toes crossed. But most importantly, I'll say a little prair for you! 

And now... Something pink! We have limited space this year and a toddler who's going to do her best to tare down my beautiful pink Christmastree. So I'm thinking of maybe doing as we used to do in Finland when I grew up and hang it from the ceiling instead of putting it on the floor. We are going to try of we can get it done in a good manner. Otherwise we're gonna have to try to solve it some other way.
I am looking forward to seeing miss J's reaction to my pink Christmas tree ;)
The baby's gonna be so small that she'll probably mostly still be focused on breastfeeding and sleeping. 

I am longing for Tuesday and the doctors appointment at the Delivery ward. I hope and pray that our precious little baby will come this week. Almost everything is ready for her arrival now. And I am both calm and super nervous to give birth again. I just want to get it over with now. 
Let my body and mind drift away in the massive and awesome, powerful, raw display of natures power that is called childbirth!

The basinette

I have been extremely tired today, so I spent half the day sleeping. My husband is so good with miss J, so I never worry when he has her with him.

I am very pregnant now and the baby is growing fast. This phase of the pregnancy is very tiring & I feel the weight of the baby & uterus press down in my pelvic. That meens constantly running to the toilet. And the Braxton hicks doesn't make it easier. I actually didn't have them at all during my last pregnancy, but am really compensating for that this time...
I took these selfies this morning. I have my hair down, which I usually never do. My hair is extremely thick and heavy. And it's now past my waistline. So I normally have it braded. I do think it's very beautiful with women that wear their long hair out.

The uterus is huge now and the SPD makes me wiggle like a drunk duck when I walk. Looks quite funny actually...

Miss J had her daddy drive her around the apartment, around and around, in her little trolly. Her beloved doll was pressed tightly to her chest. So happy and so cute! 

Then I spent the evening mending things that needed mending. For example this clothdiaper, which is one of our favourites. The mending turned out really good.

I have embedded the sheets in the basinette. It turned out really nice. We recieved it from a muslim mother, who wanted to bless our family when she heard that we have so many kids and were expecting again. I have never had anything like this before and I am so delighted for this. The only person missing now is the little star herself. 

I saw this sign the other day and it actually made me laugh. Being huge and nine months pregnant "justifies" even strangers to have questions and opinions about my body, my pregnancy and my unborn child. That actually drives me nuts and I hate it. Especially when they want to perform some ritual kind of bellyrubbing on my bump without even asking me if it's okej... I often have to swallow my urge to emediatelly reach out and rub their breast (yes, it's almost always woman doing this) eagerly commenting on their size and looks *hehe*. Well, one of these days... Being pregnant does not make my body public property!
And Yes, I have tried everything... Except for cleaning my windows (but I ain't doing that). So I'm just gonna rest all I can and hope that the appointment at the delivery on Tuesday will jiggle things along a little bit!

And something pink... This is what I would like to have for Christmas. I love homeknitted items and I think this necklace  is awesome! I'm just hoping that maybe my mother will be inspired and make one for me. Since it's knitted the baby can both pull it, play with it and suck on it without it braking. That would be such a luxury. I would like it in a little darker pink colour though.

Canvas and a blessing

Today we spent half the day at the church's open preeschool with miss J. 
She had incredibly fun playing with the other toddlers. They also have a little devotion for the kids every time. I like that.

Her dad played with her the whole time and learned a lot of new children's songs (with movements added to them).  There were incredibly many kids there today. Eleven moms and five dads. All on maternity/paternity leave. Everybody had brought between 1-3 kids with them. Soo much play and laughter going on.

This was one of the most fun things they did today. They took a large canvas  and wigwagged it over the kids while singing a fun song. Miss J was absolutely thrilled!

My oldest son had bought a lovegift for me. He gave me a can with root beer (my favourite). You can't buy it in that many places here, so this was pure luxury! Teenage love!

My husband planted the flower my mother bought us the other day. The plan is that it's gonna bloom around advent. 

He did a good job planting.

We have another one that's already blooming. A little bit to early, but it's beautiful. 
I'm normally allergic to this kind of flower, but this time around it's still ok and I haven't had any reactions yet.

He surprised me with one more thing today... He baked a spongecake really late evening. Half the cake is regular spongecake and the other end contains apples with cinnamon/sugar. It was a nice surprise and tasted really nice. Half an hour later now and the boys have finished it all off already. ;)

Light, fluffy and very sugary.

Today I brought in the double wagon. We were so incredibly blessed when we got this. I was going to throw away some garbage about a year ago. Then all of a sudden this guy walks in and brings this wagon with him. He told me that he and his wife didn't want to go through all the trouble with selling it, so he was just gonna leave it there for someone else to take. So I asked him if there was anything wrong with it & there was not! It even had the raincover included. And it's an Emmaljunga (really good brand). So I told the man that I needed it so he gave it to me and said "God bless you". 
I can now drive both the baby and miss J in this wagon. Today I wiped it off and put on new reflexes etc. Miss J immediately climbed into it and made herself at home. We are so blessed!

Today's pink is going to be these supercute cupcakes. I love all the details in it. I wish I had the supplies to make pretty little cupcakes like this. Because then that would really be my new hobby.
My husband has fallen asleep in the livingroom couch. The rest of the house is quiet and they are all sleeping.
I'm going to go upstairs and put sheets in the baby's bassinet. Then almost everything is ready for her. 
Come baby - come! Mommy can't wait!

Membrane sweep and pink lights

Today has been a long and emotional day. We have been at the hospital almost all day long. 
Miss J has spent the day with her beloved grandmother. She got to wear a cute denim dress today, together with a strawberry shirt that my aunt knitted for her first birthday.
She felt SO pretty and was giggling for a long time. She refused taking it off until evening. 

I made a bargain in one of the Facebookgroups I'm in. I found a beautiful jacket that was brand new and had never been worn before. It was only $4. She wore it today for the first time and she absolute loves it. Miss J was twirling in front of the mirror...

My first appointment was at the laboratory. They drew my blood and everything went great! I found this guy hanging around the hospital corridor. I emediatelly called my new found friend mr Bones ;)
I am glad I didn't have to make it through the day alone today. Happy that we had a babysitter for miss J, so that my husband could stay with me. 
He found the green room at the hospital (he he) where he made himself comfortable. 

Mr Björklund has calmed my nerves and we had a nice "fika" (snack) between the appointments. We took the time to sit down and talk in one of the hospital cafeterias.

Well, I was a nervous wreck when the time came to meet the doctor who's gonna deliver our babygirl. I thought that I would have to "make my case" to her again. Instead it was the absolute opposit that happened! Puh!

It went good at the doctors appointment today. We agreed on going in to the delivery on Tuesday the coming week for a membrane sweep. That's something I've never done before! My OB said that it just might jiggle things along. If it doesn't have the desired effect we're rupturing the membranes on Thursday (most likely) next week. So everything is very exciting. The baby is going to be approaching 4 kg by then, so she'll be big! 
The doctors had been reading up on our story, taken into consideration each others thoughts on the matter (the obstetrician, the anaesthesiologist, the paediatrician and the head of the maternity ward) and all agreed that an induction is medically necessary to prevent this baby being born injured.
I am nervous about it all, because it'll take a lot of character and strength on my part. But I trust God to carry me through this as well!

But for now I'm 37 weeks along and still loving being pregnant! I talk to my baby every day and pray for her health. I spend time "listening in" on how our two souls communicate. That is such a powerful thing. I love her so much already <3

I went to the hospital chapel afterwords and took some time to think and pray. My experiences from last time giving birth are horrifying and I still struggle with what happened.
To see your baby that extremely ill, fighting for her life, in a bed at the ICU. Holding her tiny hand in yours. To beg and plead with God to let her pull through. To get one bad news after the other. To come to the point where you simply can't go on any longer and then just cling to eachother and God... But you still go on, because it's your baby laying there - Fighting... Struggling... 

And then I felt an enormous peace come into my soul. It is well with my soul! Whatever will happen, however this will turn out... I will know that I have done absolutely everything in my power for my baby girl to be born safe. 
So I continue to hold my hands on her, feeling her move around through the thin and stretched skin on my belly. And I shower her with peace and love. We'll do this together, her and me! Daddy will be there for us both. And it'll be ok. I have peace now! It is well with my soul.

I have started dreaming and planning ahead for this very special Christmas. Here in Sweden they normally decorate the Christmas tree just a day or two before Christmas. That is the tradition. But I want want to enjoy the season much longer. And this year we're gonna be one more family member dancing around the tree.
So I have talked to my husband about maybe soon getting our pink (of course) Christmastree and putting it up. That would be such a joy to me! We "just" have to decide on where to put it... I absolutely love the holiday season! 

This is how I some day want to decorate our house for the holiday season. I absolutely love those Christmas lights! 
I almost can't wait!

Chef Skalman & some pink thoughts.

Today we had the last parent/teacher conference at my oldest sons school before he comes of age (18 yrs here). After that he personally has to invite me to come, because I'm no longer allowed to then since he's gonna be an adult. Well, my chef son is doing excellent in school! He excelled in everything. Especially the subjects mental training & sports. He even takes extra classes outside his curriculum, just for fun! I am so proud of him. He has really turned his life around. Good job son! 
I am so proud of him!
Then we went to pick up miss J from granny's place where she spent the afternoon playing.
She tried on a really cute bonnet. She must have felt very pretty, cause she was giggling the whole time. What a cutie!

I had some extra fun too. During an hour I got to sort through my mothers huge selection of buttons. I picked out the ones I liked most (in different colours). There is this project that I have been thinking about and planning for a really long time and I hope that I get time to do the crafts I have imagined now. I'm gonna show the end result later, once I'm done.

I just love arts and crafts. Looking through the buttons was really fun and I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve.
Tomorrow is a busy day. Miss J's gonna spend half the day at her beloved grams while we're at the hospital. I'm really goin to try to stand my ground here. I'm glad my husband is going with me. But doctors can be awfully stubborn to discuss with...

Here are five of my kids out on a Sunday walk together. They are number 1-4 & nr 6. Their names are Rebecca, Salomo, Gabriel, Ruth & Nathanael. Emanuel and Jemima was home with me at the time.

Here is a picture of the two of them having some tlc-time together. 

Well, I chose to believe in myself and my ability to work through things. Tomorrow's appointment is stressing me out a bit. But my body has given birth before and I can do this! I know I can! I am an outstanding lady with a bunch of outstandingly beautiful, clever and awesome children. I love my family.

I have decided to start posting pink things here on the blog. For you who don't know me yet... I LOVE pink! It is by far my favourite colour. Mostly because it really makes me happy. And I'm not talking about just "happy". But bubbly, sparkling down in my gut, glittering bling happy. That is pink for me. So - pink it will be. I need more of it in my life. So I'll offer to give you a dose of it as well ;* 
I'm heading towards a warm bath now before going to bed. I find it relaxing and I use the time to practise my Lamaze breathing. I use the teqnique everytime I give birth. And since the due date is drawing near I'll devote some time to practise it every day now until the baby comes. I can't wait to hold her in my arms. What a miracle <3


We almost lost her... Planning ahead now.

My morning started early today. I went up and packed my brunch. I was fasting since midnight because of the test I was goin to take later on. 
I had a serious case of diabetes during my last pregnancy, when I had to take injections up to 5 times a day. And my bloodsugar was like a rollercoaster. 

The test took 2,5 hours to perform. I brought tea, lactose free lemon yoghurt with oat cereals (in my favourite Tupperware cup) and a dubbelsandwish with a fried egg. My husband dropped me off at the midwifes office downtown.
This is the sugar drink I had to drink. It tastes absolutely awful! First we took my bloodsugar, while still fasting. Then I had my drink. After drinking it I had to remaine seated for two hours while my body dealt with the massive amount of sugar. I actually don't get a sugar rush. Instead I get really tired and sleepy, since I normally don't even eat sugar.
This is my third test this pregnancy and it was indicated because the baby is growing so big. 
Well, after the two hours wait it was time to take the bloodsugar again. And it was really good! 

I am SO happy. My diabetes doctor said to me, after finally giving me a clean bill of health four months after my last pregnancy, that I would get diabetes every pregnancy in the future. 
I refused to accept that! So I have worked really hard to stay healthy this time. During the entire pregnancy I've walked as much as my serious SPD has allowed me. I have eaten mostly vegetarian food and stayed away from sugar,  candy and bakeries. I bake a lot, but my family has gladly "offered themselves" to eat it instead of me. 
I am so glad that my hard work has payed off. My baby will be more healthy and so am I. Good job to me! I have beaten the odds!

This picture is from the internet. I have two appointments on Wednesday. The first one is to the laboratory to take some bloodwork. I am on strong bloodthinners and we need to be in control of the concentration (the level of bloodthinners in my blood) and my bloods ability to clot before I go into labour.
The second appointment is to our OB. We are going to verify the deliveryplan and go through the remaining big things to plan.
Since my last delivery lasted for only 15 minutes we're gonna try to control this somehow. Miss J was born so fast that her skull was crushed during delivery and she suffered from several severe brainbleeds and epilepsy. 
We don't want anything like that to happen this time around!

This picture is from when she was at the ICU & we didn't know if she was going to live or die. She had an emergency baptism when she (on top of everything else) also got a sepsis.
Well, as the last picture shows, the doctors want to give me an epidural this time. I have never used any kind of painrelief during delivery except for laughing gas. The reason behind that is that I'm really afraid of the technical side of distributing the epidural. I work as a nurse anaesthesia and I've seen when things go wrong.
The plan is to use the epidural as a "brake" to try to slow everything down. 
That might just work. After giving me the epidural the doctors plan to induce labour. Everything just to try to have some kind of control.

I am sceptic, but I feel that I have to do everything I can to give this baby the best chance ever! 
Going into spontaneous labour could be really dangerous for both of us. I am at the end of this pregnancy, so it's time to finalise the planning. I have thought about this the entire pregnancy and I'm glad we're finally there. That's Wednesday's heartache...

Here is miss J kissing her babysister inside my pregnant belly. She loves doing that and started doing it about two monts ago. Somehow it seems God is preparing her heart for being a big sister <3 She is to young to know...

Well, the house is dark. I'm alone up with a cup of tea. Thinking ahead to when I get to hold our new baby in my arms! 
Until then I'll continue to do that little extra for my family, to walk the extra mile, to hug and kiss them a lot so they all feel that I really love them and that they are my entire world!

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day here in Sweden. We have taken the day to celebrate two men that has had the greatest impact on mine and the children's lives. 
First, my father. As some of you know he passed away suddenly in a massive heart attack 9 yrs ago, only 54 years old. He was my best friend, a great doctor and talented researcher. He basically taught me everything I ever needed to know about raising a family, but also a lot about the profession we shared. I salute him today and I miss him. Happy Fathers Day dad <3

The other person we have celebrated today is my husband mr Björklund. He is such a rolemodel for both his family, the kids and people he meet. He has a gentle heart and a humble spirit. He is the best husband and father I could ever want. And he's an awesome grandfather to R & S. Thank you mr Björklund, for loving this family so much. Thank you for giving so much of yourself every day, to young and old members of the family. Thank you for coping with everything life throws at us, even though our resources are limited. We salute you. This day has been about you!

Miss J made a congratulations card for her hero - daddy! She loved doing the handprint in watercolour and never wanted to stop... 

Today she had on a denim skirt and her Sunday shoes with red satin flowers on. She felt so pretty that she had to sit down several times just to look at them and feel them. Our precious toddler!

The family dinner turned out great. Grams was also here. We enjoyed a simple, but very nice dinner. After that we had pink cake with raspberry cream. It was delicious. Our oldest son made the cake today.
Then it was time for presents. Mr Björklunds favourite colour is green. We had bought him a beautiful green can made for rope. And then some fairtrade green rope to go with it. He was very surprised and loved the gifts!
We have started the real countdown waiting on the new baby. I am glad that we had this day as a family before the new arrival. 
So many things will change in the dynamics of the family, even if this child will be number eight. 
They are all individually so very precious though. I often wonder and dream about what personality this little girl growing inside me will have... Most of all I want her to be healthy and born without any complications.
Tomorrow I'm going in for yet another check up. We are approaching due date, so the checkups are increasing in number. But, better to be safe then sorry.
I love my family so very much. You guys are my reason for living and for everything I do. I look forward to spending the rest of my life being your mother, grandmother, friend, confidante and the wife of mr Björklund.

Choose happiness!

Miss J has spent the night at granny's. It's the first night we've been away from her since she was born. Even when sha was at the ICU one of us was always with her.
We wanted to have "a trial run" before the delivery. Because she's gonna stay with her grams for two days then. I have a high risk pregnancy, so I have to give birth at a university hospital and stay at least 48 hours after delivery. Everything went great for her and she has had a really fun time with her beloved grandmother!

Here she's listening to country music in her grandma's headphones. Miss J absolutely loves music.

So what kind of romantic business were her parents up to then..? Well, I'm almost embarrassed to say, but we took the chance to work all we could with preparing for winter, the baby etc.
First I made us some sushi. That took me about four hours. I had a nice time watching Jane Austen's "Emma" & then the episode of "Bones" where Bones finally gets married. I rolled the sushi in the meantime. So business and pleasure combined well ^^.
We had about 30 peaces each. Well, not I - since I don't have much spare room in my belly now that every inch of my guts is occupied by the baby.

I fell into bed absolutely exhausted soon after 1 am. I woke up this morning to a completely clean house! My awesome and caring husband had stayed up half the night and cleaned the entire house, even the rugs. Wow, he is so kind and he really rocks my world! 
I spent four hours today just foalding a huge load of laundry. The fun part came in the end when it was time for the clothdiapers. I love diaperorigami! The smell and touch of newly washed clothdiapers in beautiful colours is addictive. Yes - I'm a nerd... I even ordered three new clothdiapers today from a lady who's selling hand me down diapers. It's gonna be so much fun to get them in the mail at the end of the month. I ordered Bumgenious, which fits miss J very well. One black/white, one red and one blue.

We also dug through the storage and found our winter clothes. Finally! My husband and I have one pair each of these beautiful hand knitted mittens (mine are green). I'm longing for snow now. 

I also found my favourite winter cap. I love the happy, bright colours. I bought this when I lived up in the most northern parts of Norway, with subarctic climate. Tromsø has very shifting weather conditions and this cap has saved my ears many times. 

My mother had dinner ready when we came to pick miss J up, so I got to enjoy this lovely mango sherbet icecream afterwards. I'm allergic to lactose. I love the snowflake shaped sprinkles on top. So cute! 

I found out today that our city has been pimped with beautiful lights in the November darkness. Here is the old and very famous library Carolina Rediviva, where the silver Bible is kept. 

It's past midnight now, but my mr Wonderful is taking the time to mend my broken nursing chair. One of the arms on the armchair broke earlier. And we need it fixed since the baby's soon here and the nursing chair is so very well suited for ... nursing! 

I am very much looking forward to holding this precious little girl in my arms. I have always loved breastfeeding and I actually almost can't wait. 
I had hoped for miss J to breastfeed for a long time. But she chose to stop a couple of months after I became pregnant again. The milk changed taste and she didn't like it. But she nursed for a year. Just like her siblings. 

I am ending today's blog with this beautiful message. Even if life is really hard & everything seems dark. Sorrow, grief, loneliness, heartache and trials can bring you down. You can choose to be happy! It's an attitude and a lifestyle. When my life was at my darkest point I chose to start wrighting a "thankfullness diary". I focused on trying to find three things every day to be grateful for. Sometimes I just wrote "I am alive" three times in a row...
I choose to try to be happy in some of the little things that I encounter every day. And it works! I choose to be happy. I am a much happier person then I have been before. 
Well, I also have my faith in God. That actually helps a lot as well. 
I just want to encourage you. My dad often said: "This too shall pass". And it did! 

The whole gang together again.

We've had some very previous times because all the kids have actually been home. That doesn't happen very often since we live in different parts of the country. 

My oldest daughter, her youngest son toddler S and the boyfriend came home for a couple of days. 
We all enjoyed it so very much! I just absolutely love having them all home at the same time. For a couple of days I felt complete.

Here is a picture of almost everybody. Rafael is missing and mr Björklund took the picture. Hanging out together is so much fun.

Rebecca and her boyfriend gave me a perfect bouquet of flowers when they arrived. It still looks beautiful after a week.

Team toddler had a great time together. I think they challenged each other the entire time... So adorably cute together.

I'll wright more another day. Right now I just want to update you on the pregnancy... It turned out (on Wednesday) that the baby is growing very fast. We made a third ultrasound then. The baby was doing great and I was so happy to se her again. 
Well, the consequence is that I'm meeting my midwife in Monday for some more tests and then on Wednesday the coming week, I'll be meeting up with our doctor again to talk through some options.
Last weeks of pregnancy now... I feel beautiful and I know I'm gonna be holding her in my arms soon.
How exciting that is and what a privilege! I almost can't wait. But I will.

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