I am doing my rotation at neurosurgery and though I feared it from the start... I really love it! It is very challenging and exciting. I really feel like being at the right place at the right time.
Tomorrow one of my best friends and mentor comes for a visit. I really look forward to it and I know that he will challenge me, support me and listen to the things I have on my heart. We are going to prepare a surprise by making Ugali na kuku, wich is the national dish of Tanzania (I´ll take pictures and put on the blog tomorrow...)
My days are really long and there is also always some studying to do when I get home. But being with my familly and knowing that they are always there for me gives the strenth to be there for them and to always strife to do my best.

Come what may and love it!

This picture was taken a couple of years back. It is taken in a small village in the south of Sweden. I lived there for a couple of years and I was very happy there. My sister and I went fishing early mornings on the lake you see on the picture. We used to ride our horses a couple of miles from this place. I had good friends and we used to go camping and hunting together.
It was my first home in Sweden. Or... the fist place that really felt like home!
More than 22 years ago my oldest daughter Nadja was born and died there. She is buried in the ground there and I have only had the chanse to visit her grave once. But I often light a candle in her memory. I still miss her, even if it has been 22 years.
I questioned God, the universe, the earth and everything else when it happened. I thaught my life was over. But the years passed and I was blessed with more children, many happy moments, terrible grieves and experiences, illnesess, losses and farewells. But I also found true love and a happiness greater than anything I ever thaught possible.
So anything and everything came... And I loved being alive to experience it all. Both the worst and all the good. Because that IS life! God has never promised that it would be easy, but He promised to never leave us.
And in my life, He never has...


I went to church today together with my mom. The sermon was good and I learned a lot. The topic today was to dare to be different.
After the servise we prepared to go. Then we met an old friend and one of the people I really look up to. She has been a missionary all her life and worked all over the world. She spent many of her years in Africa. She is a doctor and has been working as a psychiatrist and a anesthesiologist.
We talked for half an hour and she spoke encouragement, joy and faith in to my heart. We are going to meet up more privately and continue the talk.
Then we left for my mothers house where we ate Sunday lunch together and then talked for a while. I got to borrow my dad´s Bible, since I don´t have a Bible in Swedish.
It has been a good day of rest, although I have plenty on my mind.

I enjoy being a girl!!


Natan with the phone I gave him on his birthday.

On the menu.

My son went fishing in Tromsö and got us this fantastic dinner. It has rested well in the depth of our freezer.
So I prepared it and we had a feast together. I strongly recommend COD from the Ice sea.

In Sundsvall

We left Uppsala around 6 pm and reached our final destination, via my uncle, at 11.15 pm. The journey went very well. I was listening to  book while driving: Arto Paasilinna´s book "Livet är kort, men Rutkinen lång". It led to many laughs and time flew.
I went around the house and kissed all the kids, even if they were sleeping. When I opened my inbox there was approximately 7 studyrelated emails. Hrmph. A lot to attend to during the weekend...
Now I am going to bed. For the first time in 2,5 years SG has allowed my mom to see her grand kids. I am really looking forward to this week-end. We are also going to celebrate my youngest sons birthday. He turns 7 in two weeks. So lots of fun awaits in the morning... I am really looking forward to when he openes his gift from me. It is very exciting.
Being away from the kids is to constantly miss them and to live with a huge hole in my heart. This weekend the hole is going to be patched up a little bit. I am enjoying every second with the kids. My beautiful, kind, lovely and fantastic children.

Moving forward

Yesterday I finally sent in my PM about medical equipment. It felt good to be done with it. We have an oral presentation of our work next week. I have written about the TOF-Watch.
Today we met the head of the education and she promised us respite with one of the assignments that has felt a little overwhelming lately. Nice! So now I can concentrate on the two exams coming up and also on the research. One thing at a time...
Skalman and I ate pizza tonight and I have now started working on my research again. Some evenings it feels like a never ending story! But it´s ok. I can only do my best. But I am starting to long for a good nights sleep. I decided that my breaking hour tonight will be at 10 pm, because we have a long drive up to Sundsvall after my rotation in surgery tomorrow. We are going to visit my youngest kids.
And now... My break is over and I will go back to the amazing world of research! Yey!

A future skill for Ruth?

Last time I went visiting the kids I brought some of my working clothes. They are desposable, so I thought the kids could try them on and feel how it is to be dressed for surgery. This is Ruth dressed as a nurse anesthesia and she was good at operating me, I might add...
And here are my two youngest sons with their new hats from Canada. Looking soo nice!

Alvin... again

I was wondering why it was so quiet. Yesterday he ate a sock and tried to eat my new cap, so the quietness made me feel a bit worried... This is what I found out. The dog had put himself to sleep by smelling Skalmans shoes. Dog anesthesia -he, he.

I love you!

I love you every day that ends with -day.

My grandson

My Kids!


Well, well...

I have extremely much to do in school, but even so I feel tired and a bit unconcentrated. The last hours have been spent by the computer, trying to compose a PM that I have to send in on Friday. The PM is about TOF-watch. I use it a lot in surgery, so it is very interesting. But wrighting something useful abot it takes time.
I need inspiration! And maby someething to eat...

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