I hurried to work this morning and I was happy to get there even before time. I met my boss and greeted her with the phrase that I had time to get some coffe and that I would come right after.
She looked at me strangely. Then she told me that my collegues had alredy left, after waiting for me for more than 20 minutes. I didn´t understand anything.

All of a sudden she looked at me and I saw a smile coming on. She told me I had forgotten to change the watch into summertime! So instead of being early, I was actually an hour late for work.
That became the joke of the day and one of my collegues helped me to reset the time on my cellphone.
So, it was an interesting first day back at work!

Read about three women!

I got a book at sales last week. It was a great book, written in Swedish. The book is called "Livet kan inte vänta". The book tells the story of three young women who have terminal cancer. I cried reeding the book. The youngest of the three died before the book was finished. I have linked to their homepages from my page.

The essence of the book is that life can not wait!
Live life fully and to the fullest. We never know when our lives will be over.
Love and be loved in return.

Spring in Göteborg

It´s warm and nice outside today. The pollen is already in the air and my nose is affected. I don´t quite look as Rudolf yet, but I soon will.
I went to the doctor today and she run some tests. I will undergo a series of tests in the months to come. They want to find out why I got so ill a month ago. One of the results from todays visit with the doctor is that I ended up getting a cane!

The thing is that I really enjoy watching the series "Dr House" on tv. It was not my goal, though, to look like him... But I do. The difference is that his cane has flames and mine has butterflies.
I guess there are plenty more differences, but I´ll just live them up to you to think about...

I can´t take my ordinary painmedicine since I´m medicating with bloodthinners. So the pain I´ve had in my hip for 12 years is worse than ever. That´s why I got the cane. I´m interested in wether it will help or not.

Springtime, a running nose and a cane with butterflies on sure can give a girl bubbling, happy feelings about the summer - wich is just around the corner.

Missing someone

I wish every day would be like Christmas. Because that´s when you have the whole familly around you and you don´t have to miss anyone. Missing someone can sometimes be as painful as having your heart ripped out, several times a minute.

Loosing someone is to dye. A pease of your heart dyes. Dreams dye. Plans crashes and scatters into a million pieces. Childrens feeling of security and their feeling of being safe and loved is cruely ripped apart as a relationship failes. Life is never the same again. Not for anybody who is affected by it.

The tears seem to be never ending. The pain in my throught is causing me to cry. My eyes are swollen. Every beat of my heart says "I miss you" - go gong - " I miss you" - go gong - "I miss you" - go gong.

I miss my children. I miss my loved one.

In all of that, I am grateful to still be alive. I was given a second chanse at life. Actually my third chanse in life. I have been deadly ill three times now. For some divine reason God has chosen to keep me alive.

The pain inside my heart, that is mixing itself with my bloodstream helps to keep me humble. To look to God for my strenght. I know that love concures all, love is patient and kind. Love will win over evil in the end. God i s love. That is my strength.

Soon I´m going back to work and I will pour that love into the patients I work with. Just love them and do my best to help, to ease their pain, to listen and be there tiht them in the painful process they are going through.

I spent some time in my new apartment today. I sat there and watched the forest outside my window. The wind was beating on my windows. But I just sat there and felt at ease and calm. The trees were oozing in the wind and I felt asure that God has it all in His mighty hands.

I miss you so much.

Snowdiving divine!

I went to the hospital to take my tests again today (it´s my new routine to do that a couple of times a week). It went well, but the nurse I had today was very bloodthirsty and took the largest needle she could find. Uack! I was sulking a while after...

On my way home I saw a snowcave, that someone has made in a big pile of snow. I actually couldn´t restrain myself from snowdiving right in to it. It was nice to feel like a happy kid again. Just having fun.

Last time I was in a snowcave I was 10 years old. My sister and I had built a very nice snowcave and had brought out some candles to make it extra cosy. But something went wrong and my younger sister´s hat caught fire. Luckily, since we had snow all around us, it was fast done to put the fire out. I simply took her head and showed it, face down, into the wall of the cave. She was astonished and not so happy, since she hadn´t noticed at first that it actually had caught fire. But she forgave me fast when I took her hat of and showed it to her. 

So - if you have to let yourself be caught on fire (and I don´t mean in a romantic kind of way) - do it in a snowcave.

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