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I have uploaded my first (very short) movie on my YouTube channel tonight. It’s exciting to start something new. A lot of people has been asking me to wright a book about my life and I guess this is a start.

Almost a year has past since my last update here and I just haven’t had time to wright. It has been our annus horibilis. That means that it’s been our worst year ever where a lot of things has happened.
We are finally over the worst and I begin to feel that I can breathe again. 
First of all I have had a very good visit with my oncologist. The good news is that I am cancer cell free right now! Yey! I have undergone many surgeries and the last one was 5 months ago. My body has finally healed. And now my mind can slowly start healing as well. I have lived with cancer for 2,5 years now.

 After almost a year in Uppsala, undergoing several surgeries, we are now back in Norway. 
I worked almost a year at the neurology department at "Akademiska sjukhuset" learning tons of interesting things, but most of all getting to know amazing colleagues. I miss them!

We now live in two places. We have a house in the south of Sweden, neighbor to my oldest daughter and we work in amazing Hamarøy.
We don’t get to spend much time in Sweden right now, but are hoping that will change in the near future! 
Hamarøy is a beautiful outpost of the world. The polar night is ruling now and we only have about 1,5 hours of daylight right now. But daylight does not equal sun, just the light you see in these pictures.

Aurora borealis - the northern lights

I will wright soon again. I long to tell you more about what’s going on in our lives! 

Restoring hearing And a "cancer gift"

One of my children has suffered severe damage and loss of hearing due to a weak immune system. This week we got to travel to Uppsala, Sweden (our old home town) to let him undergo restoring ear surgery. 

I am so impressed at what otosurgeons can do!

The surgent marked the ears before the surgery.

It's going to be a long healing process where we're gonna have to travel back and forth to Uppsala many times. We'll start seeing results in about four months. 

Uncle Emanuel with precious Saga. They bring so much joy to my life!

We also had time to enjoy Swedish nature dressed in autumn colors.

Spending time with my children, my sons & daughters and grandchildren is the best thing in the world! My family IS my bucket list.

Absolutely perfect, my beautiful granddaughter.

A big event these last days were when miss Ruth cut of her long hair. 

Braiding eight braides before cutting...

She had decided to donate her hair so that a child with cancer can have a wig made of her curly, beautiful blond hair.

She is such a champion and I love her caring heart!

Still at the barber with a beautiful new haircut.
A beautiful lady!

This week has ment so much joy for all of us. Being together is always uplifting.

There has been tears, laughter and joy. But also pure pain, loneliness and a shoulder to cry on!
I love you guys.

The three musketeers
On the plane down to Arlanda (Stockholm)

We have moved to Norway

We have moved to Norway on a 2 year long contract for me as a nurse. We've ended up in a tiny mountainresort. Nature is beautiful up here.

Ten of us moved up here. So we still have almost half the family left in Sweden.

I miss them every day. But I'm very thankful for technology, since we talk, wright, skype and snap daily.

Leaving Uppsala, our home for the last two decades, was hard. But we were happy to be called as missionaries here. My primary task is my work as a nurse. But the congregation here has also called us and that feels very exciting.

We live in a beautiful old rectory. Everyone has their own rooms - finally! 

The lifepace here is slow. Very slow. And I have a lot more time to spend with my family then ever before. We all enjoy that.

Ten years as a couple <3

Thankfully my husband and best friend is by my side. Every day with him by my side is a good day. 

I love you mr Björklund.

This is the center of the village. A tiny beautiful church. I love this view! 

Our family.

Here is my family now. The picture was taken this summer. I love them all so much. 

You can see all my kids, their partners, my precious grandkids, my mom and also some more people related to the kids. Thank you all for coming to this occation <3

Me and mr Björklund.

My darling! I love you. Yesterday, today and always. 

Thank you for making the decision to move here and start this new adventure together. 
I look forward to every day we have together. And we get so much more time together here every day, then we did before. 
My cancer is a constant reminder that life is short. And precious. Very precious. Here we can all rest and gather our strength for days and years to come. I can live anywhere and do anything with you by my side.
Family is all that matters. And I treasure every day and every moment we have together.

"I trust in God wherever I may be. Upon the land or on a stormy sea. So come what may. From day to day. My Heavenly Father watches over me."

World epilepsy day!

Purple - the colour for epilepsy awareness. 

My entire family has worn that today to raise awareness about epilepsy.
Our brave and amazing miss Jemima has it. It's a complication after the very complicated and dangerous brain bleeds she was born with. I have written about it earlier years on the blog.

She is my super hero! The doctors told us she wasn't even supposed to sit, walk or even talk. Her prognosis was so have 24 hour care in a vegetative state.

But they forgot to tell her that!
So she can do almost everything!

The epilepsy awareness t-shirt that her oldest sister made for her.
Miss N playing today
I also wore purple today.
Me - goofing around...

We lay this day to rest now. Honouring the amazing life of miss J - who not only survived but also learned to live with epilepsy. 

My super hero!

Amazing daughter

Happy birthday to my beautiful (soul, mind and body) oldest daughter Rebecca. I'm so blessed to be your mom and grandma to your kids.

You have become an absolutely great woman and my best friend. I look forward to every day we share together. Hearing about your day. Your thoughts, the latest thing you've studied, talking about the cats, the kids, world peace and all the other things we usually talk about

I hope you've had a great day. I wish we could have spent it together.

You rock my world. I love you.
Happy birthday!

Pranking the oncology coordinator

We have many tough days in my line of work. Life and death, hope and sorrow, sickness and health fills our workdays. It is almost like a marriage. You have to be committed to the job in ways I never expected as a new nurse, 20 years ago.

We have young parents with cancer and we have old patient as well. Some patients come with their whole family's and some patients have no one.
We work with them all. We dry their (and each others tears), we try to help and relieve pain. We try to give a dignified death. 

We have an amazing coordinator who coordinates where all the patients go, who needs a single room, who can share a room with 2 or 3 others. The coordinator knows who comes in to the hospital (elective or because of an emergency). 

Our fake patient -)

Part of the coordinating job is to move patients around the hospital (to find beds) and also to know who goes home. It's kind of a "know it all job". 

The nurses aids arranged a fake patient in a single beds room. Then one of the nurses called for the coordinator (who usually knows everything going on at work...) asking who the new patient in room 10 was. 

It looks so real!

Almost the whole staff (doctors included) were able to keep a straight face as she run in to the room (while poundering who she might have missed or who got misplaced).

She took the practical joke with grace and a great sense of humour. We all need a laugh now and then. And we all do a good days work. The rest of the day was filled with smiles and happy faces.

Ps. Thank you nurse N for doing such a great job! We need you!  

Beautiful boy!

My oldest son turned 20 years old the other day. I can't believe it's been two decades since he came into my life and changed it forever. We've sure had our ups and downs, but our relationship has grown through the years.

My beautiful boy who's now grown into a man!

I've had twenty years with him. He's now a grown man with a steady job and raising his own family. But to me he'll always be my boy.

I have spent the last days wishing for more time with him. At least two more decades. 

His little daughter.

My life has become even more precious since I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I have always tried to savour every moment. My life has been threatened in the past as well, like when I batteled multiple lung embolies, battled encephalitis and sepsis... 

My preast even gave me the last anointing and my family took farewell of me. 

But God spared my life. And now I'm batteling this! 

I love life! I love watching my kids and grandkids grow up. Being with them gives me joy and strength to carry on and to never give in to rough circumstances.

My beautiful oldest daughter and my youngest granddaughter. I love you so much!

And the band keeps on playing...

I'll be here. Always. I'll be your mom, your granny, your wife and friend.
I love you more then around the whole wide world... And back again! 

Work or private?

I have been working 14 days in a row now. It's been fun, but very intense. Now I have 2 days off. It's gonna be great to just be home and enjoy time with my family. 

3 days medication for an onchologypatient on leave from the hospital.

My two youngest daughters keep their daddy busy with lots of happiness, games and play all day long. I love the loving sacrifice he makes by staying home with them, so the kids always have an adult at home.  And they don't have to be left at daycare for endless hour, in the care of others. Instead they can be home, have fun and "lazy" days doing whatever their daddy plans for them. Going to the park, playing in the snow, going to the library, having teatime with the dolls...

Hiding in the laundrybasket is fun!

We had a work dinner the other night. I had tunafish. It was nice to get together with my collegues and be civil, for once. 

This is my faithful companion. I miss her when I'm at work. She makes my world a happier place and greats me with lots of love every time she sees me.

Ebba Lejonhjärta (lionsheart) - the dog!

My best Christmas gift was actually that we're gonna have a new little family member. She moves in with us in mid February. She's a ragdoll named "I choose you Pikachu". 

I can't wait!

Hanging upside down is fun!

My oldest son and me went to the movies together and saw the premiere in Sweden of "Assassains creed" in 3D. It was a good movie. I really enjoyed his company. 

Skriv inläggstext 

Family - the most important thing!

I love my job. And I love my family. Having cancer has made me stop and analyse my life. I work with cancer. Being an oncology nurse is a job where you have to engage in your patients, "have a heart", care... But it also makes you realise that life is short and so very precious.

Can I keep my "worlds" apart? Having cancer myself and working with cancer? Yes, I can. It's hard sometimes, 'cause my work affect me and forces me/teaches me to be a better person.
And I have awesome collegues with lots of experience. We teach each other things. I also have an amazing family. They teach me how to live with cancer. How to be fully alive.
And God gives me the strength I need every day, to be the best I can be.


I'm convinced that's the key. To try to find something to be grateful about, in all the situations life throws at you. To always praise the Lord.

Because, at the end of the day, He'll always be there with you. 
In His grip!

Recovering after my second cancer surgery ...

... Has taken weeks. My doctor wanted me to stay home at least until Februari, but I've had the urge to go back to work. 

Don't get me wrong! I have rested. I have read books, slept a lot, taken long walks and watched the entire DVD-box of Herman Wooks "War and remembrance". I have cried, loved and laughed. Spent time with my kids and my grandkids.

Yet something within me compels me to work. I work with cancer patient. I work with palliative care. And I have cancer. 
Close to home? Yes, sometimes. 
But that also makes me a better nurse. Facing my own fears and my own mortality draws me closer to God and His strength in my life.

I had a patient with the same diagnosis as me who died. I was there. I held her hand, wiped her tears. I gave her pain relief and helped her find a comfortable position in bed. We talked about life, about our hopes, fears and dreams. We talked about dying. She was at the end of her journey, I'm at the beginning of mine. I am grateful we shared journeys a little while.

I worked my first day today, after my surgery. It was tough, but also very meaningful. I am grateful for my job and I love being part of a professional team.

But most of all I loved coming home to my family. To meet them in the hallway and talk about our days. To laugh, hug and hold each other close. 

Life triumphed another day. My beloved family came together. I spoke to absent loved ones over the phone. I lived my life to the fullest today. And I loved it. 

The whole house is quiet. Everyone else is sleeping. It's midnight. My toddler is tossing and turning in her sleep next to me in my bed. 

Thank God that I can lay this day to rest. It has been a good day to live life.

My first day back at work.
Miss J's pretty today!
A happy miss N!
My beautiful town (borrowed pic from this weekend).
Another beautiful winter picture from this weekend (borrowed pic).
Family - the most important thing.

Birthday girl

Our youngest princess turned two years old today. I am so happy for every day we have together, every milestone I get to share with her, the play, the laughters and the joy. She still brestfeeds and she's the one of my eight children who's decided to do so beyond the first year.

Happy birthday miss N. We love you dearly and wish you a wonderful new year.


I was met by this sign on the door when I came to work today.

I have had a very busy day at work. I'm on day shift almost the entire week. The weather has been boring with rain that has melted the beautiful snow. So the world looks grey outside our windows.

Me at work today. I'm a nurse. I love nursing. I love my patients. And most of all - I feel honoured every time I can participate in giving health care that improves a patients life quality, even if the patient would be dying. Nurses are important.

My family surprised me when I came home. That ment so much to me! They stood inside the hallway and sang carrols to me when I opened the door. And my wonderful husband had prepared Swedish glögg (non alcoholic mulled wine) with almonds and raisins. We had a great evening together.

Some of my welcome home committee. It's amazing to be greated in this manner after a long workday. My family is amazing. Every single one of my eight kids.

The older kids ended the night with playing hide and seek with the youngest kids. Lots of laughter!

J and N are hiding from N, who is just about to go look for them. The small ones giggled the entire time...

Every day I have with you guys is a miracle to me. Even if I'm really tired after an eventful job day, you always give me strength to go on. I love all of you so much!

I keep on marching forward. I put up a tough fight against this cancer. I hate cancer. But I love God and I love my family very much. I am truly happy and I feel safe and calm in the midst of everything that is going on! I will reach my destination.
And I think it's very important for everyone to have that, a destination. To have hopes and dreams, to love and laugh, to pray or cry. To be part of a family or to have a special person. A person can go through almost anything and come out on the other side of the tunnel (without necessary having been hit by the train on the way)...

Not the patient & Father's Day.

I worked all weekend and today is my day of. I still ended up at the hospital, on a planned appointment my daughters doctor. It was nice to not be the patient. Everything went great.

Waiting for the vascular surgeon.

Yesterday was Father's Day here in Sweden. We celebrated the best dad I know, my husband. He is such an amazing dad to all our kids. And he was so happy and moved by the gifts and the cake. Thank you for being so awesome!

We ended the day with playing in the snow. The result is beautiful.

Every day is a gift, a miracle. And I'm spending every minute I can with my family. On the phone, FaceTime, watching Tv, hanging out... I love being alive. I love my family. I thank God for every day.

A tray of...

We have a new saying. At work. I work as a nurse, with cancer patients, at an onchologyward. One of the nurses had made a special kind of "medicine" today, that she put in medicine cups on a tray.

Chocolate balls - yummy!

"A chocolate a day keeps the doctor away".

It was a good night at work today. I'm tired, but ok. It's gonna be good to lay down close to my love and fall asleep listening to his heartbeat.

Not all cancers are pink

I am 42 years old.
I have eight children that I love more then life, each one of them.
I have five children in heaven, that I miss.
I have four grandchildren and some angel-grandchildren. I love them deeply.
I am married to the love of my life and he is my best friend, my person, my everything.
I have also been diagnosed with cancer.

Me and my husband at my first cancer surgery in the beginning of October
I was so tired after the anaesthesia
This is me last week, before the pathology report came back from my surgery. This is one of the many faces of cancer.

My cancer has been traced back to the man I lived with in my 20:th and beginning of 30:th. He gave me the virus. It is caused by the HPV-virus and has been "sleeping" in my body until it decided to start growing and became cancer.

I decided to start wrighting about my cancer journey. Not only because I'm a nurse working at one of our country's largest hospitals oncology clinics. But because I've also become a patient there.

I want to live. I am going to beat this monster that is roaming my body. One step at a time.

My ex might probably try to use this against me, threaten me and explore my illness. But he is nothing to me. I am not afraid of him. And if he does that it only belittles him even more. So I will wright here. And I hereby publicly ask him to leave me and my family alone in this.

God is with me. My soul is resting in the safe arms of my Jesus. I am calm & not scared.
"Although I walk through the valley of death..."
This is my walk, my journey.
I want to live!

Menyer / menus

Igår ägnade jag några timmar åt att skriva veckomenyer för åtta veckor framåt. Det är kreativt och roligt att läsa recept och sätta ihop en bra balans. Vi har oftast ungefär samma råvaror hemma varje månad, så det går att använda samma grund till många olika recept.

I spent a couple of hours yesterday doing menus for the next eight weeks. It's creative and fun to compose food for my family.
We usually have the same basic ingredients at home every months, so it's easy to just change the recepies.

Vår underbara 3-åring busade idag genom att fylla avloppet med papper. Här hjälper hon glatt till när pappa försöker reda upp röran efter henne.

Our wonderful three year old had lots of "fun" clogging the drain with paper. Here she's happily helping daddy clean up the mess.

På eftermiddagen blev det piqniq ute med varm oboy och annat gott. Det var roligt att leka ute.

The kids played outdoors in the afternoon and had a piqniq with hot coco and some other treats.

Min sömndruckna lilla minsting kikar ut på världen. Jag älskar det rufsiga håret efter middagsvilan.

My sleepie little girl is looking out through the window after her afternoon nap. I love the way her hair curls when she sleeps.

Det är ju mode med ritblock för vuxna just nu. Det ska minska stressen, sägs det. Mig stressar det mest! Hittade en bild som säger mer än tusen ord...Ibland vill man bara låta saker vara som de är.

Paintingbooks for adults are fashion right now. They're suppose to relive stress. But not for me! They just make me more stressed! I found a picture that says more then a thousand words... Sometimes it's better to just leave things as they are.

Åter igen gläds jag åt tiden tillsammans med min fantastiska familj. Jag känner mig så lyckligt lottad som har en sådan fantastisk make och enastående barn.

I wright it again and again... But I'm so happy for the time I get to spend with my family. I feel so lucky to have such an awesome husband and amazing kids.

Lycka är att vara tillsammans!

Happiness is spending time together!


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